Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 


And let's be honest: if you really came online for emo, you'd be at MySpace by now.

Although I could whine about a lot of things if you really wanted me to. Um...if only I had a brain? A heart? A home? The nerve?

Or, "No matter how hard I try to strike up a conversation with any of them, none of these hot girls are even making eye contact with me! Why, God? WHY?!?!?1?!!"



Meh, what can I say? I can't emo as well as I used to in my old age now. But I can gripe and bitch like a pro!

Anyhoo, this is it: the final stretch. The last 3 days before Commercialmas reaches its messy climax are upon us, and so far while I must admit I'm not as aggravated as I was last year, I can still cheerfully admit to showering scorn upon the season. Bah humbug, and all that saucy jazz. (Unless there's a better condiment-like adjective out there that can describe jazz, and I am unaware of it, and if so please do contact me to rectify this descriptiveness.)

My sanity I think is mostly due to the inclement weather we've been having. A green Christmas is on the way, and with an inherent lack of snow and temperatures almost reaching points where we don't even need jackets outside, I think a lot of people haven't been shopping like usual. This entire past week was slower than the week before. There were even days where one person could hold down the store solo (which I did, all hail my managerial l33tness!) and despite always needing to do somthing, they would not feel stressed.

This means one of two possible things. Either ONE: the weather put everyone in a mood where they just wanted to get all their shopping done in one or two fell swoops. Which explains the busy-ness we experienced all last week. This implies the weekend will naturally be busy, but far from crazy. I look forward to this...especially since I'm working all weekend, be it at the store or the kiosk.

Or we're looking at TWO: the weather put everyone in a mood where they all figured they could put off their shopping just a little longer, since it doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Which means come Friday, most of the city is going to, at one moment or another, bolt up and exclaim, "Holy shit, I've only got 3 days left to buy swag!" And subsequently, most of the city will proliferate the mall in a mess that could only be described as "epic", "monstrous" and "...and that, your Honour, is why I clobbered as many of them as I could with our Amazing Pancake Maker."

I fear if it's the second possibility.

It's kind of like being Grover in The Monster At The End Of This Book. (Which, if you haven't read yet, shame on you, now go buy it for yourself on Amazon!) The dread keeps building with each passing day/turned page, and you are bracing yourself for when the other shoe will fall. Or crowds will surge towards your store like a heard of fashionable locusts.

So, there are three working days left to contend with the silliness. Somehow in the meantime, I've managed to pull off next to no extra 12-hour shifts (a plus), wrangled 2 days off per week for the last two weeks (more than a plus), and given my sister and her husband syphillus. (Only a plus if it's a Giant Microbe plushie.)

And today's been spent hanging out with Kevin & Donna, going on midnight shopping trips, visiting childhood TV memories courtesy of YouTube and watching Gabe attempt to eat the axel (and engine block) of a toy car he received only a half hour ago. At this point, he's gone completely Jurassic Park T-Rex and eaten off all 4 tires, and now removed the axel itself from the rest of the vehicle.

Perhaps we can end today's little bit of nowhere here, since there's very little else I can prattle on about before it becomes perfectly obvious I have nothing witty left to say. Not to mention I think the grammatical-brackets are multiplying like bunnies in here, and the sooner I leave the sooner we render them unable to take over the blog.

Today's lesson: there are more people shopping at Walmart at 2:30am than you think. (Not that it makes the restockers happy, oh no...)

Oh, and after getting through half of Michael Mann's MiamiVice movie, I can fully understand and appreciate why it took over $100 million to film, and made back maybe a quarter of it.
posted by Phillip at 6:55 PM